What I Need You to Hear
by Remiel the Dark
Summary: Atem's having trouble telling Yugi how he feels. Will Yugi ever know? Yaoi, Puzzleshipping.


**Title:** What I Need You to Hear  
**Fandom:** Yugioh! Duel Monsters  
**Genre:** Romance/Angst  
**Author:** Remiel the Dark

**Disclaimer!** If you think for a moment that I own Yugioh, then you need to have your head examined!

**A/N:** Okay, so this is my first yaoi fanfic, so I need crit (and don't go easy on me!). Warning: if you haven't gathered in this information in the first sentence or the summary, this is yaoi and it is Puzzleshipping (YamiXYugi). It might be short, but it's cute. Enjoy!!

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Atem stared up at the ceiling, his eyes glinting like rubies in the soft moonlight. Turning on his side he gazed at his door, wishing that Yugi would walk through it and embrace him, shower him with kisses, and stay by his side forever. Or, perhaps, that he would have the courage to swallow his pride and go to Yugi and tell him how he felt, how he really needed him. The only problem was that Atem was afraid: afraid of rejection, afraid of fear. It wouldn't surprise him if Yugi was really afraid of him; it wouldn't be that far of a stretch. After all that he had put the boy through, Atem was surprised that Yugi didn't hate him.

Atem tossed and turned in his bed restlessly, closed his eyes, and tried to calm his disconcerted mind so that he could get some rest. Sleeping almost seemed like giving up, though. He was never good at quitting; however, he didn't think, for once, of what he was losing, but what Yugi could lose if he pursued his heart. _'Love's a choice, isn't it?'_ he asked himself.

Yes, Yugi had chosen Tea, hadn't he? Atem cracked his eyes open. He hadn't bothered to ask Yugi about Tea. Were they going out, now? He hadn't really paid attention; he was too immersed in his own thoughts. Last time he'd seen her, Tea had sad that Atem had become really antisocial.

The young ex-Pharaoh sat up quickly, a sudden flare of anger and jealousy flashing in his scarlet eyes. The moment passed quickly, leaving him with disappointment. He leaned back, his arms supporting his weight. _'What am I going to do, now?'_ Sleep wasn't going to come to him.

Atem ripped the covers from his body, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. There was no sense in staying in bed if he couldn't sleep and even if it was one o'clock in the morning, he could still "wake up early" to everyone else. Pulling on some of his signature black leather and chains that gave him the appearance of Goth, he examined his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but smile.

Deciding to play one of Yugi's RPG's as a good way to pass the time, we left his room and stepped out into the hall. Setting firmly in his mind what he wanted to do and tossing to the side what he really wanted to do, Atem stalked passed Yugi's door without a second glance. Alas, his discipline didn't hold strong, and he stopped and looked back at his door.

"No!!" he told himself with fierce determination, and walked downstairs into the family room.

He turned on the television, muted the sound, and pulled the console out from the cabinet beside the television. Atem smiled to himself, remembering when Yugi taught him how to hook the system up to the TV.

"_All you have to do is plug this wire into an outlet," indicating a chord that ended in a bulky unidentifiable geometrical shape which, in turn, had two parallel metal coming from it. He plugged it into a rectangular piece of plastic that was attached to the wall. "These are easy." Yugi had said, picking up a three-in-one wire. "See the holes at the bottom of the TV. Well, you just match the colors." _

Living up to the King of Games title, Atem had proven himself to be good at video games; but for his lack of experience, Yugi was still better, though he was patient enough to teach Atem what he needed to know. Atem smiled again, sadly this time. He was happy for the past, never looking into the future, for he was too afraid that Yugi wasn't going to be part of that future.

Atem dropped the controller, and laid both hands over his heart – it felt like it was breaking. How long could he keep a lid on his feelings? How long could he bear to stay around Yugi, if it hurt him so much? _'Love's a choice.'_ Was it really? Could he choose not to love Yugi, to not think of Yugi?

"Yugi . . ."

Without thinking, Atem got up, and headed back upstairs. Without hesitation, Atem opened the door to Yugi's room. He closed the door quietly behind him and shivered. It was cold: Yugi had left the window halfway open. Atem crossed the room and shut the window softly. He looked towards the bed and his heart skipped a beat.

Yugi was curled up under his covers, one hand draped over the edge, the other hidden somewhere beneath his pillow. He breathed deeply, in and out, in and out, in and out – a soothing sound. Atem took a step forward, then backward, then backward again, and sat in an armchair placed along the wall. He'd lost to Yugi's innocence, to his vulnerability; he could not touch something so pure and defenseless. Atem shivered again and leaned his head back. His eyelids felt suddenly heavy, almost as if a spell had washed over him. His mind became still and his heart felt light again. He allowed his eyes to close and allowed his dreams to whisk his consciousness away.

"Atem?"

"Mmm."

Someone was tapping him gently on the cheek. "Atem?" This time the request was more persistent, and so was the tapping. Atem opened his eyes and the slightly concerned countenance of Yugi Motou came into view. "Are you all right?" he asked as soon as he saw that Atem was awake.

He remembered, remembered waking up, remembered going downstairs, remembered going into Yugi's room, and never leaving. He cast his eyes around – it was still dark.

"Hey," Yugi said, turning Atem's face towards his, "are you okay?" He sounded more troubled. Atem looked up into his violet eyes, those un-accusing eyes. He wasn't asking "What are you doing?" or "Why are you here?" he was asking—.

"Atem?"

"I'm okay." he replied, dragging a friendly smile onto his face. "What time is it?"

"Four-ish. You're shivering."

"It's just a little chilly in here, that's all."

Yugi frowned, and took his hand in his own. Atem blushed, thanking the darkness for making that unseen. Yugi steered him onto his bed and wrapped the blanket there about his shoulders. "Could you not sleep?" Yugi asked.

"No." he replied quietly.

"I've been worried about you. You don't talk to anybody anymore."

Atem didn't answer. He knew the answer, but he wasn't about to tell Yugi – he was so afraid. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Yugi pain, because it hurt him so much. He loved him, but how could he prove it after the deal with Kaiba at Duelist Kingdom. Or that time he'd played the Seal of Oricalcos. He shivered again.

"Do you not trust me anymore?" Yugi suddenly asked. His voice had broken free from the calm concern and into the emotional hurt.

"I . . ." He didn't know what to say; Yugi was looking searchingly into his eyes – longing to see what lay beyond the fiery rubies. He drew closer to Atem, touching nose to nose, and the temptation suddenly became too great. Atem grabbed Yugi by the arms and slammed him against the bed, pinning him down.

He knew that what he'd done was wrong, he could've hurt his closest friend, but he didn't care. Tears that he'd put so much effort into holding back were now spilling onto Yugi's face. Atem was afraid to open his eyes, too afraid to see fear come back to Yugi's eyes.

"Atem?" Yugi ventured, his voice returning to a calm, reasonable one.

Atem finally opened his eyes, only to realize the increased awkwardness of the situation – now he was fully on top of the other, probably the reason that Yugi had called him back to attention. He pulled himself away, and sat back down beside him, unaware of the tears that were pouring steadily down his face. He didn't have the courage to look Yugi in his face.

Yugi sat up, paused, and touched Atem's cheek softly. Again, Atem felt himself blush, but he didn't care anymore. Yugi must have seen it too, for his hand withdrew soon after with a soft "Oh."

Atem bowed his head and started wiping the tears from his eyes. The heaviest of all silences followed. Atem had half a mind to go back to his room, but his body stayed as still as a statue. He felt something brush his damp cheek and he grasped it. It was Yugi's hand, so soft, so warm. He held it there, not sure what to make of the gesture.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yugi whispered.

"There are a lot of reasons, Yugi."

"Such as?"

Atem looked into his eyes. "You're not afraid of me?" he asked, his voice cracking.

Yugi shook his head. "Why should I?" he asked. Atem looked away. Yugi smiled gently and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I forgave you a long time ago. I was never afraid of you." Yugi drew back and allowed his lips to brush Atem's – soft, warm, so warm.

"Yugi," Atem whispered, cupping Yugi's face in his hands, "I love you." He pulled Yugi closer, and their lips touched together again, and stayed.


End file.
